avochileaks 06

based on a historical event,
but this time it's a few years
before the great revolution in china.
it's a conversation over dinner;

teen boy : you must give me beans!
i like beans! beans make me happy!
we must all grow beans!
beans will be the backbone of our country!
make sure everyone grows beans!

family : relax, chairman mao.
someday you might just grow up
and annoy the hell outta everybody.

avochileaks 05

based on a singing class, conducted by a bored
and demotivated musical teacher;

choir : i'm gonna let it shiiiiiine!
let it shiiiiiine, let it shiiiiiine, let it shiiiiiine!

teacher : yeah, yeah, let the damn thing shine.
what the fuck is THAT all about anyway?

avochileaks 04

based on a popular tv show's
food judges' deliberation. the idea is to critique
and agree on which chef stays on the show
and which chef is eliminated this week;

judge A : this dish has an interesting texture to it.
the flavours all blend together in harmony!

judge B : yes, but this dish has a particular tinge of
exotic spices and the technique of grilling the beef
is absolutely perfect! it is magnifique!

judge C : what? texture? harmony? magnifique?
are you guys sure what you're talking about?
i went camping with you guys last friday
and you guys can't cook shit!

avochileaks 03

based on a top-secret meeting
of a top-secret western country
at a top-secret location;

general A : now THAT, is the new satellite
prototype we have just launched.
it will increase the sensitivity of our
telecommunications, enabling us to
properly scan our country for the safety
and well-being of our western civilization!

general B : i'm bored. let's go whack moslems.

avochileaks 02

based on a presentation to the management
of a top consumer bank;

guy : so that, is our highly thought of presentation
about how to increase the excitement levels of
consumers and staff towards our new scheme!

CEO : who are you again?

guy : i'm a staff from the Strategic Management Division
of Human Resources here at *tuuut* bank.

CEO : hmmm...HR. do you consider that to be a REAL job?

avochileaks 01

since we have touched on the tricky subject
of the singaporean wikileaks, i have decided
to launch my very own version!

it will (probably) be a set of fictional secret
conversations between all sorts of people!
it'll show us the true nature of man,
and how we view the lives around us.

boys and girls, i proudly present to you;
avochileaks!

now, based on a board-room conversation
in a massive oil & gas company;

guy : but sir, we need to take into account
the potential damage we might do to the marine
area, if we drill oil there, it may impact the fish
and coral reefs and vegetation!

CEO : hmmm...the environment?
dude, we're in oil & gas. who gives a shit?