make your list count.

wahai rakyat! mari dapatkan duet dari kompeni kaye raye ini.

let's face it; everyone has stories when it comes to raya.
some are good, some are bad, some are just weird.
so here's a few sniplets of what usually happens in mine;

1. being one of the main attractions;
- since i was always the smart, lovable but skinny boy,
i was always one of the main attractions. picture this;
when uncles / aunts / cousins come over to grandma's,
the 1st thing they ask for is me. hahaha!

2. eating more than you should;
- the problem with celebrating raya is, you fast for
a month and now all of a sudden you have access to
yummy yummy raya food 24/7. not good.
for digestions. and for your BMI.
sib bek ade carta comel, to keep me in check.

3. living in a more uncomfortable state for a few days;
- let's face it. chances are, your family / grandma's
place may not be what you're used to and / or
comfortable with. in my case, im swapping my huuuge
leather bed for lantai and nyamok non-stop ok

4. the favourite aunt and uncle;
- i know we're supposed to love our family
unconditionally, but hey, i'm human,
so my main highlight is to see my fave aunt / uncle

5. the favourite male / female cousins;
- i always look forward to seeing my guy cousin,
who i've always looked up to ever since i was a kid,
and my gal cousin, who i've always loved
because she is wacky and hilarious

6. the awkward small talk you're forced to make;
- you can't get along with everybody, so there are times
when you have no choice but to have forced,
awkward, horribly nonsensical conversations
with people you don't know and / or
family members you don't want to know

7. the family skeletons;
- everyone has skeletons in their closet.
for us, it's always intriguing to see people avoid
certain topics, just because everyone is uncomfy
with it and it can raise world war III

8. the emergence of the AlterEgo;
- just like the early days of courtship,
raye is when you put your best foot forward.
in my case; tetibe je aku sangat mesre rakyat,
pastuh solat lime waktu on the dot plak tuh.

9. the appreciation of what you've become;
- sometimes we take ourselves for granted.
our achievements and who we are may not be
anything much to us, but sometimes when
family members are proud of you,
it makes us realize how proud we should be too

10. the appreciation of what's not forever;
- despite all the bizaare things you hafta deal with,
despite being uncomfortable or ecstatic,
you realize one thing; it won't last forever.
so immerse yourself in the experience,
make each second count, because your family
and gatherings won't last forever.

i have 10 things on my list. make yours count.

eSquirming

now, since it's rather unfair to criticize
the wonderful eLearning without offering solutions,
i feel obliged to offer a solution
to the erm, non-learning from eLearning;

an eModule that helps you realize that mundane things
can also benefit your knowledge AND it can be used
in your everyday life bcos sometimes you don't realize
that you SHOULD know certain things, but you don't!

so, i proudly present to you;
the questions on eSquirming!

1. do dogs have whiskers?

2. what is the difference between ikan keli and ikan gelama?

3. is a carrot a fruit or vegetable?

4. if your socks are similiar, how do you decide to wear it
either on the left or on the right?

5. what are coins made of?

6. why do talk show hosts say "...dont touch that dial!..."
when we all use a remote control?

7. why is it called lion dance when the thingy
that jumps around looks like a dragon?

8. how does sms get from my phone to yours within seconds?

9. what on EARTH do gals hafta carry around so much,
dat they need to carry big bags all the time?

10. kenapekah kentut sangat bau sedangkan
ayam kfc kite makan sangat harum?

sekianterimekaseh.

2011 avocrystal ball!

now, instead of posting my new year's resolutions,
which, quite frankly, served no purpose since
i don't really care and even if i DID have any,
probably didn't care enough to make it happen,
i have decided to go for something new instead;

my very own crystal ball!

here i will put my predictions for the year,
and we'll review it at the beginning of next year ya!

boys and girls, i proudly launch a new tradition;
the avocrystal ball!

1. proton will CONTINUE being a bitch.
both in the cars they manufacture AND in f1

2. people will realize that buying an iPad
is just a way to over-compensate for being uncool

3. people will STILL have bad dress sense
during the office 'casual fridays'

4. i will FINALLY be given the recognition i deserve

5. anything this country achieves will be because of 1mesia.
this even includes football success and more money for rakyat.
the team who physically plays and extra money from petronas
has absolutely NOTHING to do with it

6. westerners get bored of labelling moslems as terrorists,
so they target people living in igloos on alaska instead.
afterall, SOMEONE has to be blamed for melting icecaps kan?

7. my neighbours will STILL be jackasses and continue
to know NOTHING about earth hour

8. i will still be awesome

9. no wait, scratch #8. since that is
an actual fact of life rather than a prediction

10. someone will predict the end of the world in 11.11.11.
afterall, the predictions of 9.9.09 and 10.10.10 didn't work

11. someone will be nice enough to buy me two worlds II,
gran turisimo 5, back to the future, mass effect 2 and / or
dragonage 2 for the ps3. please oh please dear god!

12. i will FINALLY finish reading the books which my
friends have lent / suggested to me. yes, this means you
neesa / miss_d / ju / jen

13. i will be less bitter and be the sunniest guy
on the face of this planet

14. no wait, scratch #13, i said prediction
not something that needs divine intervention

15. the ending for harry potter will be far, far
more satisfying than the ending for twilight

16. people would actually follow me on the twitter

17. people would actually read this blog.
hahahahahahahahhahaha!

18. my niece finds me far more awesome than kakak.
or anyone else, for that matter. heheheh

19. people will get sick and tired of reality cooking
competitions and watch radio televisyen mesia instead

20. i will finally post the next avoch awards.
however crappy it may turn out. hahahaha!

the A to Z of avoch

based on titi's fantastic post
and inspired by her rainbowy state of mind,
i proudly present to you;

the A to Z of avoch!

A is for Avoch!
- avoch is my avatar name.
it originated from a fantasy book which belonged to...

B is for Best friend
- ...amir. who i consider to be my best friend.
if someone who has seen the absolute worst of you
and still sincerely wants to be your friend,
then chances are you have found your best friend

C is for Celebrity crush
- maggie q. she is smokin' haaawwwttt.
and katherine heigl. who is smokin' hot oso.
and ivanka trump. who is smokin' hot oso
(jawapan diberentikan skarang sebab nanti tak abeh2)

D is for Debt
- darn you credit card debt!
i am under a mountain of it! but it's ok,
bak kate iklan; the satisfaction? priceless.

E is for Easiest person to talk to
- plenty plenty! all my frens are easy to talk to.
which is why i am frens with them.
because i can be incredibly chatty heheh!

F is for Favorite movies
- too many to list down! but having said that;
fantasy = lord of the rings trilogy
romantic comedy = just like heaven
romantic comedy drama = sleepless in seattle
comedy = dodgeball
comedy action = a knight's tale
action = die hard 4.0
action drama = troy
drama = legends of the fall
comedic drama = forrest gump
action drama comedy = ocean's 11,12 & 13
fictional drama = slumdog millionaire
fictional history = inglorious basterds
animation = ratatouille
cartoon = the emperor's groove
horror = 13 days & 13 weeks later
horror action = constantine
horror drama = interview with the vampire
local = sepi
local comedy = papadom
(ok fine, pandai2 buat kategori sendiri
supaye muat my fave movies dengan banyaknye)

G is for Gaming
- if there was something i could do for 24 hours in a day,
7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year,
for maybe a full year, it would be gaming!
fifa manager 2011, f1 2010, civilization V, the sims 3,
dragonage origins, need for speed shift, fifa 10,
lego harry potter & red dead redemption,
you are the (wonderful) culprits!

H is for Hometown
- miri. a place where i don't go as much as i like,
and certainly where i don't go as much as i should!

I is for Instrument
- piano. i used to take piano lessons as a kid.
note that i used the term 'take lessons'
instead of the term ' i play the piano'.
i didn't. i sucked at it.

J is for Job
- i am an engineer with the gomen.
god knows what on earth i'm doing!

K is for Kids
- i am not a fan. the only kid on this earth
that i absolutely love is my niece mumu.

L is for Longest car ride
- as a kid, we used to do 13,14 hours
traveling from miri to kuching for raye.
back then the roads were gravel
and you had to wait hours and hours
for a ferry to take you across the great river,
only to continue on a non-tar road
all the way until you met civilization.
and all of this during the fasting month.
it is not something i would recommend.

M is for Milk
- i am obsessed with milk and milk products.
my fridge is usually filled to the brim
dengan prodak2 dutch lady. full cream,
chocolate, coffee, you name it man!

N is for Number of siblings
- one. i am the youngest of two.
which means i am pampered to the max. heheh!

O is for One wish
- my one wish is to be happy.
and i will stop at nothing to ensure that happens.

P is for Phobia
- sharks. and water in general.
no thanks to that jaws movie heheh!

Q is for Quote
- "...i'm weary..."
off sleepers. michael talks to shakes.
i dunno why, but i love it!

R is for Reason to smile
- i recently got a new lappie!
the acer 4820TG. it has the spec of an 5k
lappie bundled into a 2.7k lappie.
best. deal. EVER.

S is for Song i last heard
- has to be "we'll be a dream" from we are kings
and demi luvato. it is something that should be
a theme song to a movie or a tv show!

T is for Time i last woke up
- 45 mins later than when i should!
came late to work. again.

U is for Unknown fact about me
- i spend most of excess cash on groceries.
i am a supermarket freak! anything that
remotely resembles a nice supermarket,
it will definitely catch my attention. heheh!

V is for Veggies
- this blog's url is veggiesnolikey.
need i say more? haha!

W is for Worst habit
- i am very, very, very moody.
one minute i can turn very dark,
and the other i can be the jolliest person on earth!
no worries, my jolly always outshines the dark!

X is for X-ray
- worst injury i had resulted in stiches on my head.
the gash wasn't bad, but the swimming pool of blood
that stained my white school uniform made it
the most horrifying thing i've ever experienced.
i still have the scar on my head. which i love having!

Y is for Your favorite food
- fast food. any day, all day.
not exactly healthy, i know,
but i have this ideology that since i usually eat
once a day, i might as well eat something
that makes me happy!

Z is for Zodiac sign
- i am cancerian. which perhaps explain
why i love to write and read and stay indoors,
and is moody and a bit of a neat freak,
and has an idealistic view on relationships.
well ok, maybe not. hahaha!

the girl who...

now, i'm sure by now quite a few of you
have heard of the trilogy of books
and upcoming movies based on the
fantastically named series;

"...the girl with the dragon tattoo...",
"...the girl who played with fire...",
and well, erm, the girl that did something else

so, here's a list of alternative books
than could be adapted to the series;

1. the girl with the monkey tattoo
2. the girl who played with fire (to cook)
3. the girl who burnt the food while cooking
4. the girl who wears contact lens supaye cun time raye
5. the girl that spilled the coffee
6. the girl that ate bugs
7. the girl with the yellow socks
8. the girl with the round nose-hole
9. the girl that adds random people on facebook
10. the girl with the smelly armpits

sekiantimekaseh 8-)

service me

i don't quite see the appeal of being in politics

i recall watching this merdeka tv ad,
with the PM saying, with validity,
"...i am proud knowing that my father
passed away being in service to the nation..."

now, that certainly has merit to me,
particularly in the old days when the nation
had to strive and grow and unite

but now? hmmm...i don't see what the appeal is

let's just see what it boils down to,
this serving the nation of today concept;

1. you have to meet people who you don't necessarily like

2. you then have to go all the way to some crappy village,
otherwise you would be seen as tidak turun padang

3. you have to help them dig up some land gune cangkol
under the hot afternoon sun for some reason.
if you're lucky they might have a tractor,
that you hope won't get stuck otherwise akan kene gelak

4. you have to go to some clinic and hold up babies
just to give the impression that you give a crap

5. you have to go to some hospital and houses
to hear people go ooon and ooon about
their missing toe or missing farm animal

6. you have to give the impression that you give a crap

7. then you have to go to some event
in a hall with no air-conditioning to give a talk,
while at the same time trying not to curse the rakyat
for printing a banner with a not-so-flattering pic of you

8. and during that exact same talk,
you have to hear people whinge and whinge and whinge
about their 'problems'. yes, and this includes facts about toilets

9. once again, you have to give the impression you give a crap

10. and after aaaaaall that crap you go through,
and after kissing ass to be given money
in order to help the rakyat, they don't even vote for you,
and better yet, they go on tv complaining that you
are 'bukan pemimpin bejiwe rakyat'. while at the same time
nampak kat background the guy has a new toe
and new farm animals and clean toilets. boleh?

so yeah, i don't quite see the appeal
in being in service to the nation nowadays

sun me!

sunny side up

off an email at work earlier today.
my response in orange.

disclaimer : certain things hanye oghang2 yang keje gomen
like ME would understand. heheheh

"...points on how to improve your life!..."

1. don't compare your life to others'.
you have no idea what their journey is all about.
SPECIALLY WHEN DERANG DAH JOB GRADE TINGGI
AND YOU'RE STUCK IN E1 SAMPAI MACAM HARAM.

2. don't over do; keep your limits.
BETOL TUH. BALEK KOL 4. ENTITLEMENT OK!

3. don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
EXCEPT KALU GOSIP HAL BONUS.
SBB GOSIP TUH BLEH MENYEGARKAN BADAN TAU!

4. dream more while you are awake.
TAPI JANGAN TIDOK TIME MITING
MACAM SESETENGAH OGHANG TUUU!

5. envy is a waste of time. you already have all you need.
BETOL. TAK SUME OGHANG TIER 1 HAHAHA!

6. forget issues of the past.
don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past.
that will ruin your present happiness.
BAB NI SUSAH SKET.
SBB POMPUAN SKE MENGUNGKIT HAHA!

7. realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
DAN JANGAN LUPE PI COACHING SESSION ACD SKALI YE!

8. problems are simply part of the curriculum
that appear and fade away like algebra class
but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
TERASE TAU!
MENTANG2 TIME UNI DULU AKU FAIL ALGEBRA.

9. you don't have to win every argument. agree to disagree.
…BUT IT DOESN’T HURT TO TRY WINNING AT ALL COSTS.
LOSERS DON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IN LIFE, YOU SEE.

10. call your family often
SPECIALLY WHEN YOU ALREADY SIGNED UP
WITH THE MAXIS FAMILY PACKAGE.

11. forgive everyone for everything
TAKLEH. I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN THE DOG
THAT CHASED ME TIME KECIK2 MEN BESIKAL DULU.

12. spend time with people over the age of 70
& under the age of 6
SORRY, I'M NOT A PERV!

13. try to make at least three people smile each day
…WHILE MAKING THE OTHER 300 MAD AT YOU

14. what other people think of you is none of your business
WHY NOT?
WHAT I AM IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS EITHER!

15. put GOD first in anything and everything
that you think, say and do.
OK. “GOD, I'M HUNGRY”,
“GOD, THAT TV LOOKS GOOD”,
“GOD, THAT GUY WALKS FAST”

16. however good or bad a situation is, it will change
MOSTLY THE GOOD ONES.
IT’LL TURN CRAPPY REALLY QUICK.

17. no matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
BUT IF YOU’RE ILL, SHOW UP TO CLINIC.
BUT DON’T OVERDRESS. KANG OGHANG CAKAP MENGADE.

18. the best is yet to come
UNLESS YOU’RE ALREADY OVER-THE-HILL.

19. get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
OK. PETS, CHECK!
NEIGHBOURS, CHECK!
UNKNOWN FACEBOOK FRIENDS, CHECK!

20. when you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
AND THE ALARM CLOCK TOO, DON’T FORGET!