ABOW #18

one should never view oneself as being 'extraordinary'

since the 'extra' conveys that not only one is ordinary,
but one is even MORE ordinary than ordinary people!
and since ordinary people are ordinary as the terms suggests,
it makes one a step lower down, due to the 'extra'

so there. one should refer to oneself as ordinary.
unless one is me. because i am awesome.
and it's ordinary for it to be that way.

sekiantimekaseh. 

ABOW #17

one should always focus on another's humanity

take midgets for example;
one must realize that they are human beings too.
sure, they may be shorter, freakier, grumpier,
vertically-challenged versions of human beings,
but they are still human beings nonetheless

and that is what one should be focusing on

ABOW #16

when dealing with a midget, one must try to
seek for the pros and strengths of the midget,
dan jangan memandang rendah ok

...eventhough you simply HAVE to sebab die ketot.

ABOW #15

the problem with lavish weddings is
that people think its their happy ending.

it isn't. it's just the start.

ABOW #14

in life, when negotiating through hardship and pain,
one must learn to give oneself a lot of credit.
because not many people in this world will.

and even if they did, it won't be sincere.

ABOW #13

yup, in both cases, they're chocolate in colour.

forrest gump's mama was indeed a wise ol' woman.
however, life isn't really like a box of chocolates.
life is actually more like lifting the lid of a public toilet bowl

you are scared to see what you're gonna get.

ABOW #12

making the poor thing look like an idiot. not cool. 

now, one should know by now that love is complex.
so, one should not assume unconditional love,
particularly when it comes to pets.

why? because it is such a biased opinion,
it is such an unnecessary expectation to burden the pet with,
and it isn't inconceivable that your pet, well, hates you.

you think it's nice to hafta be cute just to be fed?
think it's easy to be cuddly just to get rubbed?
think it's cool to be called "tompok" in front of other pets?

so there you go, people!
under no circumstances whatsoever should you
assume that your pet loves you unconditionally.

he might just think you're a prick.

ABOW #11

if you have fat fingers like me,
then do not buy fancy touch-screen phones.
it's embarrassing to see sms' like;

"...Hi# hOwr3 Y0u 7odaY?..."

ABOW #10

when faced with insults or a barrage of verbal provocation,
one should always remain calm and silent.
there is no need for one to verbally insult the other person back.

just give them the finger.

ABOW #9

do not be judgemental towards people
who "like" their own status and pictures
on their always updated fesbuk profiles

they accidently clicked on it, okay?

ABOW #8

it isn't cool to assume all sawakians eat /
know how to bake / always have in their homes
that bloody kek lapis sawak

it's like assuming all indians dance around trees
and sing in the heavy pouring rain when they
were younger / dating / in love

ABOW #7

it's funny to see white people playing for the all blacks

it's either something unintended,
something uplifting and inspirational,
or a cruel joke to play on colour-blind rugby players

ABOW #6

do not take it personally when salesmen and women
do NOT approach you in shopping complexes,
because it has NOTHING to do with your personality.

you just look poor, that's all.

ABOW #5

in some parts, during breakups,
there is always the really cliche
but the truthful ideology of;

"...it isn't you, it's me..."

but in most parts, it really isn't.

it's YOU.

ABOW #4

for years and years people have talked about
gender equality and being on the same level
and being of equal stature and standard.

the ABOW? you have to acknowledge the success.

the pinnacle of gender equality is the right to become a lesbo.

ABOW #3

you know, when it comes to being offensive,
people like to cover their asses
and be nice to the public by saying;

"...oh, i didn't mean to offend you!..."

the ABOW? they DID mean to offend your ass.

and if they didn't, then they're idiots.
bcos the whole point of making offensive remarks
IS to offend other people, you see?

otherwise there wouldn't be any point in doing it.

ABOW #2

the trend now is to play futsal

you have futsal games after work,
futsal league over the weekend,
and generally futsal fever everywhere

and if you don't sign up for fecking futsal
then it means you are not haptodet
and athletic and macho badan beketol2

here's the ABOW;
derang sume tu nak glemer je lebeh,
bukannye reti men pon,
sepak and lari pon cam katak.

oh, and most of them are gay.

ABOW #1

admit it. you like nice, fuzzy, round balls. 

let's face it; everyone loves pearls of wisdom

people all around the world look for thoughts
and perspective and words and pearls of wisdom
for pretty much about everything under the sun

i feel ya bros / sistas!

hence, i have decided to release this brand new segment,
sharing my personal wisdom and views about, well,
pretty much anything and everything in life

it'll be rash, it'll be harsh, it'll be offensive,
it'll be racist, it'll be obscene.
in other words, just plain bitchy.

...but it'll be wise. wisdom, you see?

i proudly bring to you; avoch balls of wisdom!

ABOW#1

earlier this morning, channel 100 on astro was showing
clips and videos and songs from the late leslie cheung.

the ABOW? stop showing it.

bcos nobody gives a feck about fecking leslie cheung.