fuck one-way streets.

newsflash!

here's something for you to realize.
if people are nasty to you for no reason,
don't tolerate it. whatsoever.

you don't have to understand.
you don't have to justify their actions.
you don't have to accept it.

sure, you might wanna understand
their plight and say to yourself;
"...they're just having a bad day..."

you might wanna justify their actions
and try to convince yourself;
"...they're just venting frustations..."

and you might wanna end up
trying to convince yourself;
"...it's ok, i can accept it..."

don't.

why the fuck should we be the ones to suffer?
why the fuck should we tolerate crap like that?
why the fuck should we be treated like shit?

if you don't deserve to be treated that way,
if you're the one who always ends up understanding
and justifying the shitty amount of mutual respect

then here's a newsflash for you; you don't have to.

at the end of the day;
you're worth someone's respect,
and some people are worth it

...most people aren't.

slam the door on your way out.

baked beans, scrambled eggs and toast. 

that's worth it.

here's a story;

you have a roommate,
you're best of buddies,
and you've decided to stay together

so you become roomies for a while,
but then out of the blue,
your roommate says to you;

"...dude, you've gotta move out,
i've got another roomie coming in,
but no hard feelings kay, we're still frens!..."

what the feck is that?

oh, wait, it doesn't even end there.
after that, that roomie of yours
has the audacity and cheek to say;

"...owh, one more thing man,
i need you to keep paying my portion of the rent.
since you know, i'm shit broke..."

WHAT THE FECKING HELL IS THAT?

is that a true friend?
is that really someone worth your time?
is that friendship really worth saving?

what should you do?

what else? cut your losses,
tell your roommate to go feck himself,
and you move on with your life right?

now imagine this;
instead of this story being about roommates,
it's about a husband and wife

the husband decides to marry someone else,
refuses to divorce the current wife,
but expects her to keep financially supporting him

now, is that a kind of marriage worth saving?
i think not. regardless of moral standards
and what religious point of view says

it's not worth it. never will be.
 

mekaseh la ye

i haven't met my old neighbours in 2 weeks

yup, 14 whole days. 2 weeks.
and what happens once i meet them earlier today?
they asked me this;

"...eh lame tak nampok! balek kampong kawen ke?..."

yup. that's right.
i show up after 2 whole weeks
and THAT is what sprung in their minds.

let's see, in 2 weeks i could've been abducted by aliens,
or i could've been drafted by the army or something,
or i could've went off to do drugs and jadi mat rempit kan?

but nooo...the first thing they think is

"...the boy has gone missing for a while now.

he must've finally gotten his ass hitched..."

terimekaseh la ye for the concern. hmmmph.

YOU. yes, YOU.

ektiviti yang ingin Ku buat di ofis

so let me get this straight;

YOU showed me YOUR (non-negotiable) schedule,
it clearly showed that YOU have allocated time
to do reviews throughout a specific set of weeks,
and when i request the review to be done during that time,
YOU have the nerve to say that it can't be done
because YOU havent figured out what needs to be reviewed,
and it can't be done because YOU cant find meeting rooms,
and YOU think everything is going too fast?

if YOU have a master schedule for the whole year,
don't YOU think it makes sense to book the reviewer's time early?
instead of esok nak review baru arini tekial2 cam berok?

if i told YOU that we'd be prepared and ready to go 2 weeks ago,
don't YOU think it makes sense to arrange the meeting rooms early?
and why is it that YOU can't get meeting rooms but i can?

if YOU know that reviews would be done on certain dates,
don't YOU think it makes sense to establish the objective early?
rather than say; "...nape cepat sangat? templet baru tak siap lagi..."

it's too much to ask for ordinary people to move mountains,
it's too much to ask for ordinary people to walk on water,
and it's too much to ask for ordinary people to fly over the moon

...it isn't too much to ask for common sense.

survey supermarket?

now, i hate doing surveys.

i hate doing surveys marked 'confidential'.

i hate doing surveys marked 'confidential'
but you hafta write down your NAME,
STAFF NUMBER and HP NUMBER.

i hate doing surveys marked 'confidential'
but you hafta write down your NAME,
STAFF NUMBER and HP NUMBER,
with a 'true' or 'false' survey of;

i like to go to seminars / workshops /

training because i want to escape

from my daily workload. (T/F)

WHAT THE FECK IS DAT?
dumbass. asking dumbass questions
thru a dumbass survey, dat's what.

i.am.me.

the problem with having high moral standards is;
people would straightaway categorize you in that bracket.
and people expect you to portray that ALL THE TIME

you say something good one day, the next you don't,
they go; "...aritu bukan men cakap mende elok..."
you do something good one day, the next you don't,
they go; "...aik, skali je kerrr nak buat kebajikan nih?..."
you dwell a bit on religion one day, the next you don't,
they go; "...hek eleh aritu pi bace kor'an. ape barang?..."

see? people are just fuckers.

this is why i'm a huge advocate of being uncategorized.
and unlabeled. and contradictory. and confusing.
because that's who i am and what i am

i am not a person with high moral standards,
i am not a person with constant religiousness,
and i am certainly not a person who is evil either

i.am.me.

so, at the end of the day, you have 3 choices;
either you retaliate and lower down your moral standards,
you retaliate but keep your moral standards as they are,
or, you go ahead and just do what i do.

...which is to realize that people are just a bunch of
whingy motherfuckers and they should just shove it
up their ass and go die and burn in hell.

there. i said it. *moral graph dips*

put your money where your mouth is.

here's the thing about me;
there are plenty of things i don't give a shit about,
but there are plenty of things i take personally.

and you better hope i don't take it personally.

'cos if i do, i don't just sit quietly and take it.
so the next time you wanna run your mouth,
be prepared to put money in it.

because i have no problems burning you down,
and i have no problems making your life difficult,
should you decide to attack my team-mates

i take THAT personally.

stop whinging and be respectable, boleh?

OMG the tragedy of a broken egg! 

perhaps we've all experienced the tragedy of dropping eggs

you know, that horrible moment when you open the fridge,
pick up a couple of eggs and hurriedly moving away,
only to see (in slow motion) one of the eggs flying off
before landing (in slow motion) with a big ol' SPLAT!

it's tragic, isn't it?

now, under normal circumstances you would sympathize,
you would help clean up the terrible mess,
and you would offer to get some new eggs if you could

but here's the thing, what if the person in question
becomes super obsessed with the dropped egg?

i'm talking, taking vivid pictures of the egg,
sobbing away and telling EVERYONE about the thing,
setting up a memorial in loving memory of the egg,
putting up slow motion videos of the egg on youtube,
then going on the news to recall the ordeal to the public,
then preceeding to blame the fridge manufacturer as well

and the person does it. year after year after year.

see my point? at first you are sad and you sympathize,
your heart goes out to the person and the egg,
but after a while it becomes annoying and whingy

really, really, really whingy.

that's how the western media feels to me
whenever bloody sept 11 comes along.
it's a whingy show of "...look world, we're victims!..."

here's the thing, everyone goes through tragedy.
be respectful to those lost by being respectable.
otherwise, shit happens globally, so get over it.

and get over yourselves too.

*dush* wow saketnye kene air!

water balloons. no, sorry, grenades. 

what's the craziest thing you'd do for love?

some might jump off a building,
others might profess their love with tattoos,
others might serenade loved ones in public

but bruno mars would catch a grenade for ya.

that's right, when asked the same question on mtv,
bruno mars said; "...me? i'd catch a grenade..."
he then went on to tell this lovely story
about him heroically jumping in front of a lady
when he saw that lady was about to be hit by
a flying 'water balloon grenade'.
that's right folks, a.water.balloon.grenade.

oh, and she had a brand new dress on.

first of all, how on earth would you know
the dress is new unless you're a stalker?
or unless for some reason when you said;

"...you look great, love your dress..."

in which she rather bizaarely replied;

"...it's a brand new dress. just got it..."

instead of; "...thanks!..."

second of all, it's one thing to think of
'saving' a lady from getting mildly soaked
with a friggin water balloon as
'the craziest thing i'd do for love',
it's another thing altogether to refer
a harmless water balloon as a 'grenade',
in order NOT to sound like a total wuss

and lastly, hey, why not write a song
about your super duper heroics
and get adored by millions of people!
and perhaps then go on to make a video
of you prancing around with fucking monkeys
before wonderfully being referred to as

bruno planet of the fucking apes

ok fine, i'm done. *catches water balloon*

common sense. it's part of fasting.

now, skimming thru the local boards,
it amazes me how many people are sooo pissed
about seeing other people eat on the train
during the lovely fasting month

DUDE, they AREN'T moslems!
so why the hell would you wanna get pissed
with others who have no fasting obligation whatsoever?

hey, here's an idea; look away!

dok marah-marah kat oghang yang tak perlu pose,
pastuh dok kate kalu nengok tu menguji iman.
memang la derang tak pose, kate bukan islam.
yang ko dok tak reti nak tahan sket tu nape?
and yang ko dok sebok-sebok nak nengok tu nape?

morons.

ooo ooo aaa aaa! WTF la kan

cats are waaay cooler. despite looking grumpy.

i hate monkeys

i think they're ugly and annoying.
i think they're fucking hairy and smelly.
plus they make that annoying sound

i have no interest in protecting apes.
i do not care if they go extinct.
and i certainly hate that stupid-ass
theory that humans are descendants of apes

so, imagine my disdain when i watched
that music video of bruno mars
with him dancing with fucking monkeys

i used to like bruno mars,
with his great tunes and everything,
but now i don't. why? he's not bruno mars

he's bruno planet of the fucking apes

get with the programme, bloody beijing!

sempoa. better than excel.

now, we have a new intern,
a local kid, going for internship here
while he's on his semester break

he studies in china

yes. he studies in friggin china.
as if kat situ je ade skolah ok.
as if mesia ni punye la beso cam tade skolah je

and he studies engineering.
in chinese. which means he doesn't
understand a thing we're teaching him,
cause we're teaching him in english,
you know, the language that EVERYONE ELSE uses

and to top things off, he can't use excel.
because in friggin china they use something else.
which is probably made in china.

and is used by china people. only.

so, why the fuck aren't you doing
your fucking internship in fucking china then?
get with programme man, sheesh.

A-hole is such a whingy little bitch.

now, in major league baseball,
there's this rather good player
called alex rodriguez i think,
and for coolness' sake,
they like to call him A-rod

now, mesians have their very own person
who has quite the high profile,
and not to mention quite the scandalous type too

let's call em A-hole

now, what A-hole likes to do is
run around here and there in public,
gathering hordes and hordes of (stupid) people,
give em some whingy sales pitch
that would appeal to the (stupid) people,
and in the end everyone will cry foul
and then take to the streets in protest

and while everyone protests,
he's busy getting his dick sucked
(either by a boy or a hooker, no preference)

and in the end, for some friggin reason
out of TENS OF THOUSANDS of people,
he's the ONLY ONE who gets hurt and has
to go for some friggin CT scan

all to say that he has been victimized
and that everyone should sympathize
and that everyone should vote for him

lemme get this straight;

you expect US to vote for someone
who is constantly whinging about everything,
who likes to bonk both boys AND hookers,
AND who has no problems sacrificing
peace and the nation's future,
just to safeguard YOUR own?

what a whingy little bitch.

cow scent

what is it with arab perfume?

have you ever passed a shop
that sells arab carpets and vases
and not to mention that god-awful arab perfume

it smells like shit

why the feck do people wanna run around
smelling like a fart factory is beyond me.
baik jual dettol je.

busok cam lembu ok.

big seats means big ass ok.

what is it with first-class passengers?

when you walk past them on your way
back to the economy class section of the flight,
they make sure they look at you
as if to say, "hey man, seat aku beso. ko ade?"

look, i know they get bigger seats
and i know they get those bloody hot towels.
i'd love to wrap it around their bloody necks

and if you notice, once we've landed,
for some bloody reason they have this curtain
which they CLOSE to separate them from us

what, i'm not even supposed to SEE them
when the plane has fecking landed?
wat the feck is THAT all about?

i hope the stewardess farts at them.

perFeck.

what is it with mesians?
we want perfection.
we want perfect people.

we acknowledge the fact that they AREN'T any,
but that doesn't stop us, we still want em!

we want perfect celebrities,
we want perfect politicians,
we want a perfect public persona

we want them to be morally perfect,
we want them to never make any mistakes,
we want them to be righteous in every single way

and yet we know it can't happen

so we punish them and treat them like shit,
we rant and rage about their imperfections,
and we love it when they get condemned by all

i wonder if we realize that it's a reflection of ourselves.
we are a society of hypocrites.
and we are not as rightous as we'd like to believe.

...get a friggin' life.

do better. please.

what is it with local people?

they think that saying things like
''...eh malu la cani..." will actually provoke me,
they think that i have an obligation to banje die makan,
and they think that mind games will ruffle me

...pathetic.

i have news for you,
i don't give a shit.
sorry. hahahaha!

i don't give a shit about you and your lack of wit,
i don't give a shit about feeding you,
and i don't give a shit about what you think

so is that the best you can do? malu la cani.

conviction kitchen

based on a short meeting earlier today;

guy : look, despite all your facts,
you could STILL be wrong, you know!

mua : yes, i agree. i COULD.
but i'm NOT. there's a difference.

you. matter.

look, despite what you hope for in working life,
the reality is, sometimes you are not appreciated

on one hand, you are not appreciated probably bcos
you are an idiot. ni tak reti, tu tak reti, cam haram.
on the other hand, you are not appreciated bcos
you care too much and you are too invested

which means, you do things bcos you know its vital,
you do things bcos you know it makes a difference,
and you do things bcos its your responsibility

but every now and then, you find your efforts futile.
bcos people take it for granted that YOU will do it,
and dey'll always assume it'll get done. bcos you care

so in the end, people forget to acknowledge the fact
that if you DON'T do it, it never gets done.
and even if it IS, it'll be a piece of crap.

so, knowing that, you have two choices;
either you accept the fact that it's a fact of worklife,
so you keep on chugging away (begrudgingly)

...or you can do something about it.

how about stopping for one task?
how about stopping for one assignment?
how about stopping for one day?

do something radical. and just stop.
and sit back. see what happens.
and enjoy the chaos that unfolds.

you see, people tend to forget.
so take a stand, do something about it,
and remind people that you are there,
that you are good, that you care

...and that you matter.

KRFs.

now, there are plenty of things that annoy the hell outta me.
but nothing more so than the K.R.F;

Konon Religious Folk.

you know who they are and what they’re like.
they’re the ones who say things like;

“…eh, ntah pape minah ni, pakai seksi-seksi…”
and yet you spend time ogling at women everywhere.

“...you memang patut kene, sebab you durhaka!...”
and yet you physically and emotionally abuse your wives.

“…eh, memang hak aku, sukati aku la!...”
and yet you marry lotsa women, despite tidak mampu.

“…memang patut derang ni kene rejam, buat maksiat je…”
and yet you watch scandalous videos of people / celebrities.

“…eh, aku ni menyampaikan jerrr. tanggungjawab kan?…”
and yet you don't really practice your religion fully.

so there it is. typical K.R.F's.
people who use religion as an excuse.
rather than a reason.

so, do us all a favor and go f%^& off.
besides, you’re no better than all of us.

you’re worse.