Monday, August 30, 2010

sun me!

sunny side up


off an email at work earlier today.
my response in orange.

disclaimer : certain things hanye oghang2 yang keje gomen
like ME would understand. heheheh

"...points on how to improve your life!..."

1. don't compare your life to others'.
you have no idea what their journey is all about.
SPECIALLY WHEN DERANG DAH JOB GRADE TINGGI
AND YOU'RE STUCK IN E1 SAMPAI MACAM HARAM.

2. don't over do; keep your limits.
BETOL TUH. BALEK KOL 4. ENTITLEMENT OK!

3. don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
EXCEPT KALU GOSIP HAL BONUS.
SBB GOSIP TUH BLEH MENYEGARKAN BADAN TAU!

4. dream more while you are awake.
TAPI JANGAN TIDOK TIME MITING
MACAM SESETENGAH OGHANG TUUU
!

5. envy is a waste of time. you already have all you need.
BETOL. TAK SUME OGHANG TIER 1 HAHAHA!

6. forget issues of the past.
don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past.
that will ruin your present happiness.
BAB NI SUSAH SKET.
SBB POMPUAN SKE MENGUNGKIT
HAHA!

7. realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
DAN JANGAN LUPE PI COACHING SESSION ACD SKALI YE!

8. problems are simply part of the curriculum
that appear and fade away like algebra class
but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
TERASE TAU!
MENTANG2 TIME UNI DULU AKU FAIL
ALGEBRA.

9. you don't have to win every argument. agree to disagree.
…BUT IT DOESN’T HURT TO TRY WINNING AT ALL COSTS.
LOSERS DON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IN LIFE, YOU SEE.

10. call your family often
SPECIALLY WHEN YOU ALREADY SIGNED UP
WITH THE MAXIS FAMILY PACKAGE.

11. forgive everyone for everything
TAKLEH. I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN THE DOG
THAT CHASED ME TIME KECIK2 MEN BESIKAL DULU.

12. spend time with people over the age of 70
& under the age of 6
SORRY, I'M NOT A PERV!

13. try to make at least three people smile each day
…WHILE MAKING THE OTHER 300 MAD AT YOU

14. what other people think of you is none of your business
WHY NOT?
WHAT I AM IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS EITHER!

15. put GOD first in anything and everything
that you think, say and do.
OK. “GOD, I'M HUNGRY”,
“GOD, THAT TV LOOKS GOOD”,
“GOD, THAT GUY WALKS FAST”

16. however good or bad a situation is, it will change
MOSTLY THE GOOD ONES.
IT’LL TURN CRAPPY REALLY QUICK.

17. no matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
BUT IF YOU’RE ILL, SHOW UP TO CLINIC.
BUT DON’T OVERDRESS. KANG OGHANG CAKAP MENGADE.

18. the best is yet to come
UNLESS YOU’RE ALREADY OVER-THE-HILL.

19. get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
OK. PETS, CHECK!
NEIGHBOURS, CHECK!
UNKNOWN FACEBOOK FRIENDS, CHECK!

20. when you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
AND THE ALARM CLOCK TOO, DON’T FORGET!

science fact of the day

kehadapan sedare agip;

being festive has NOTHING to do with being sugar high

sekianterimekaseh 8-D

Friday, August 27, 2010

lesson of the day

being unprepared and being unsuitable
are 2 totally, totally different things

IM status of the day

off agip's messenger status;

"...sila hantar e-mail. tepon tidak akan dilayan..."

you know what? he was actually serious about it 8-D

(relationship) thought of the day

off a refreshing idea-bouncing session with sarahK;

"...if you’ve never been in bad relationships,
you may never know how to be in a good one..."

i believe that.

till you believe...

another one of the lyrical postos,
this time off mr bieber's "that should be me"

'persoalan yang tak sepatutnye' of the day

off a very very bizarre conversation;

"...eh, bulan pose bleh tak cukur bulu ketiak?..."

that REALLY cracked me up 8-D

eclipse

the less you do, the more it means

you don’t have to tell someone that you are good for them,
you don’t have to remind someone
that they should have feelings for you,
you don’t have to state and plead your case
that you are indeed the better choice

it may be true, but it also may be irrelevant

no-one can tell us who our heart desires,
no-one could can remind us who is constantly in our minds,
and no-one can dictate the person of our choice

we just. know.

the ability to defy conventionality and supersede expectations.
and that is the great thing about love

the less you do, the more it means.

let's whinge and whinge

good ol' james. a hero to whingy people everywhere


a few weeks ago little_d forwarded an e-mail to me

it was an article from this guy called james,
who apparently wrote a letter to the airasia boss,
writing feverishly about how the standard of humane service
was terrible on a particular flight, where apparently
hoards and hoards of people had to withstand the
horrible monsoon rain, and apparently the flight staff
not only refused to help the elderly, they even forced
the people to get out of the flight and into the rain

...which is a fine complaint if you ask me

but the thing i find condescending is,
was it REALLY necessary for the guy to bring up things like;

"...you used to be a regular guy, but now you are a datuk
and now datuk seri and maybe tan sri in the future..."

"...you are making tons of money and you service us better..."

"...you are now a blood-sucking malaysian elite..."

"...can you show us some heart?
it may win you another award..."


i mean DUDE, it's one thing to file a valid complaint,
but is it really necessary to be condescending about it?
asking for help while spitting the help at the same time?

so, in light of this, i have drafted a reply,
which is something that i would've LOVED to do
if i were the beforementioned airasia boss;

“...dear jems,

i am a huge fan of concerned citizens
(and customers) like your good self.
on behalf of the company,
i’d like to apologize for the weather lately,
i will try my best to ensure that
we have less and less monsoon seasons after this

i have absolutely no idea how to do that,
but i’ll give it a shot anyway

regarding the pushing customers off planes by our staff,
i can assure you that they are well trained to do so.
they spend months and months practicing
pushing people off the nice yellow pelampongs,
so perhaps next time i would propose them
to deploy the pelampong for our elderly customers instead

with respect to your statement that
"...i guess nobody wanted to be caught in a mini-typhoon...”,
i am pleased to see that you are one of them.
concerned citizens (and customers) would have offered
to help all of those poor passengers in distress,
rather than sit around and observe and complain all day.
you are a model citizen, my friend

and btw, your statement about me
joining them blood-sucking elites,
i can assure you this is not true.
my application to join BSC (blood sucking club)
has not been approved by them yet,
probably bcos i didn’t know that the BSC
is for fans of the popular twilight movies

don’t forget to fly!

yours sincerely, toni

ps : love your picture. real macho...”

status of the day

aishah wrote this on her status the other day;

"...disappointment is more brutal than anger..."

you know what? not only is it true, it is awesome.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

regret

i made a huge huge mistake a few weeks ago

the thing about making mistakes is,
you can try to dissect the situation as much as you can,
you can find fault in others, and find fault in the situation,
and regardless of whether it was a misunderstanding
and a rash decision for someone else to act in a certain way,
you still have to accept the fact that you are the cause

and in this case, i am the cause

the thing that disappoints and hurts me the most is,
because of my naivety and stupidity,
dear friends and loved ones get hurt in the process.
one of the things i treasure the most in my life are friendships,
and i am truly regret letting friendships down

the other thing about me is,
regardless of whether i have apologized
or whether my apology is accepted or otherwise,
one thing remains true to me

i find it hard to apologize myself. always.

"...i know it's the fasting month, but..." of the day

okay, a few weeks ago, a guy who has nothing to do
WHATSOEVER with our team discussion e-mailed me;

"...i was wondering if there is any reason why
i was not made aware of the meetings you have conducted..."

my response to that was;

"...no particular reason, we just thought it would be funny..."

=============================================

a few days ago, i went to the toilet before going home
to wash my face because i was really really sleepy

up comes a konon religious guy and he goes;

"...eh, berkumur or cuci muke or menyegarkan diri sendiri
sewaktu bulan pose ni, makroh tauuu..."

my response to that?

"...kalu menyebok ko rase makroh tak?..."

"yup, we all love the great outdoors" of the day

of a rather weird conversation with dilee;

"...i love the outdoors! i mean shopping..."

yup, don't we all? 8-D

we are grateful for...

this is a lyrical posto,
off the fantastic "my iron lung" by radiohead

wisdom of the day

rusie told me that when it comes to making friends,
we shouldn't have certain targets or preferences,
because in the end that means we're limiting ourselves

you know what? i think that makes perfect sense

the 2010 camping diaries (part 2)

soaking yourself. also strangely fun.


i am actually looking forward to day 2;
we are off for white water rafting!

i am by no means the adventurous type,
but there is a something about bobbling around
in a rubber boat with water splashing everywhere
that strangely appeals to me heheh!

maybe i was deprived of a rubber ducky as a boy

=============================================

i have actually bought new shoes for this;
a pair of brand new hundred-ish bucks crocs!

upon reaching the venue i am shocked to find out
that 2 other people are using crocs as well,
only difference is, it only cost them 20 bucks

darn you pasar malam 8-D

=============================================

i didn't know that we had to travel some more
in order to actually get to the rafting site

i didn't know we had to travel naik lori buruk
yang angkut lembu and ayam and kambing segale tuh

i didn't know how farm animals and livestock feels
when they are transported from the farm to the market

i certainly know now.

=============================================

i like props!

i am super excited to see the big rubber raft!
i am excited to wear the bright orange vest!
i am excited to pick and hold the cool paddle!
i am excited to wear the cool yellow helmet!

wait, what? we're supposed to CARRY the bloody raft?
all the way to the friggin' river?
on my friggin' head and shoulders?

wow. it was always a life's dream for me
to be lugging some friggin' heavy rubber boat
on my head downhill. hello? ever heard of a tow?

needless to say i am less excited about rafting.

=============================================

the rafting itself was a blast!

it felt like going on a roller coaster,
and i think the best part was being able
to splash water at other groups using the paddle

apparently the scariest point is where the guide
would purposely flip you and you fall into the water

i pretend to be worried, safe in the knowledge
that i have started swimming at my new place
2 weeks earlier in a row, so people are
rather amazed at my calmness about getting soaked

preparation is key you see. heheheh

=============================================

the dinner was a themed event; occupation

there are plenty of great outfits on the night;
i saw a forest ranger outfit, a pilot outfit,
a tarrot card reader, a magician with props,
a couple of waiters in bow ties, great!

the best dressed male / female awards went to
the people who i voted for; a chef and a nurse.
i voted based on authenticity, and my word
those two looked very very authentic!

i myself showed up in an occupational outfit;
was dressed as a sports coach, with a whistle

but that pales massively in comparison
with the prop i decided to wear for the night.
i have showed up with the ultimate in fashion;

a stick-on moustache.

=============================================

the final day goes by in a flash;
we have an event of permainan kampong

apparently they are traditional games
where you would baling oghang gune bola tenis
while trying to stack a bunch of slippers together,
and you have a game where you would hafta run
from one end of the area to the other,
while there are people who are trying to block you

during the briefing and demo they said
that these were traditional malay games
and every malay person knows about it

i am tempted to find a mirror,
since i have never played this EVER,
and for some reason i look as blank
as the colombians and egyptians and europeans here

=============================================

we travel back to the big, bad scary city,
and as much as i am relieved to return to normalcy,
i look back on the camping trip and realize that;

i have been running around like hell,
i have been forced to eat rice and god knows what,
i have been eaten alive by bugs and the sun,
i have been soaked and treated like livestock,
and i have fallen ill and horribly sick

but you know what?

did i actually enjoy myself? absolutely!
would i do it again? absolutely

...NOT 8-D

here's to what's in store next year!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

the 2010 camping diaries (part 1)

jumping off high places. strangely fun.


i always start camping trips on a high note!

i am always excited, i am always joking around,
and generally speaking i am thrilled at the fact
that i will be spending the next few days
far away from the hustle and bustle of the city
and into the warm cradle of mother wildlife

ok fine, i'm kidding. i friggin' hate the outdoors.

==========================================

one of the things i always look forward to on bus trips
is the promise and anticipation of group sing-alongs!

for some reason i view this as a rite of passage for travel,
where happy campers will join hands in singing
and we would all hold our hands in the air
and wave it around like we just don't care!

instead i am treated to grumpy faces
and mind-boggling silence throughout the bus

even my friend is ignoring me. despite sitting next to me.
and even shrugs off my offer of sharing my curry puffs

oh, the abang bus is blaring bollywood songs.
i feel as if i'm back on my nightmare uni bus trip,
and to make things worse, it's a 2+ hour trip

what an excellent start.

==========================================

like any good organizer, the fun activities
would not only be at the venue itself only,
but during the bus trip as well

i am thrilled to hear that we will be having quizzes!

as i think back to all the teke-teki i know of,
my thoughts are interrupted by the announcement;

“...ok, our quiz will be about oil and gas industry facts!...”

so much for thinking whether chicken or egg comes first.

==========================================

once the oil and gas industry facts quiz
mercifully comes to an end, the lady announces
there will be one more fun activity before we reach camp

sudoku. on a friggin' bus.

she is super duper ecstatic about it,
and shows sooo much passion about
writing down numbers in boxes

she’s probably the only one.

==========================================

as we reach the *aherm* resort, we grab and drag our bags
out of the bus and into the rather crowded reception area

a while later we are told that we're at the wrong place,
and apparently our reception is somewhere else,
and we would hafta walk a short distance away

great. so now i am treated to the sight of 60 people
chugging their luggage aaaaaall the way to the other building

in the hot afternoon sun. great.

==========================================

i quite enjoyed the opening ceremony,
it isn't very often you are treated to a safety briefing in malay,
as well as the hilarious sight of our mc trying to translate
for the benefit of our non-BM speaking colleagues

BM : sekirenye berlaku kebakaran, tolong jangan panik
dan jangan sekali-kali terjun daripada bangunan

BI : if there's a fire, don't jump out of the building!

BM : jangan simpan bahan mudah terbakar dalam bilik
dan jangan mulekan kebakaran dalam bilik anda

BI : don't burn down your room!

that REALLY made my day 8-D

==========================================

our 1st activity is to go to the jungle-ish area,
apparently there are low ropes and high rope activities!

but here's the thing; it's miles and miles away,
so i am treated to another fun filled activity
of walking. under the sun. again.

my mind goes back to the agenda.
tonight there is a jungle walk.
yup, another walking treat

i really think we should rename this as
"...ektiviti bejalan kaki beramai-ramai 2010..." instead

==========================================

the low rope activity is an obstacle course
which involves you running over swinging bridges
and swinging over tyres and jumping around
and climbing more ropes and having a sense of achievement

i manage to camouflage myself amongst the crowd
and i have succeeded in escaping doing this crap,
all the while pulling off a tired expression
and keep drinking the water like others who have done it

i am filled with the sense of achievement

==========================================

we move on to the high ropes now,
and i am shocked to see that the rope is suspended 20 feet
or so in the air and we are expected to cross both sides

i decide against committing suicide and plan to use
the same camouflage tactics as before heheh

...until my friend points out i haven't done anything yet!

i contemplate strangling her at that moment,
but there are too many witnesses around for that now,
so i buckle up and feel resigned to my fate

magically i manage to pull it off!

siap sempat gelak2 and borak2 lagi ngan orang2 kat bawah,
jumping off the high rope downwards in the end was fun!

i contemplate going for another round just for kicks,
but i remember grandma teaching me to be humble,
so i decide against it, and go for this statement instead;

"...saje je takmo buat low rope, buat high rope udah lerrr..."

kehkehkehkehkeh

==========================================

before i went off here, kakak told me to buy supplies
of mosquito repellent and sun-block for protection

since i have no idea how to use them,
i am faced with the dilemma of not knowing
whether sun-block and insect repellent could be mixed,
since we're both in a jungle and in the hot sun!

so i decide to use sun-block on one side
and insect repellent on the other side

coming back to the room, i discover that the left side
of my face and arms are a bit dark and red,
and on the other side is filled with bug bites

i look like some monster experiment gone wrong.

==========================================

the one big issue about this *aherm* resort
is the inability of the *aherm* resort to accomodate
the electrical needs for large number of occupants

it keeps blacking out!

on a positive note, i have learnt a new skill;
macam mane nak mandi dalam gelap

it involves careful hand coordination
to mandi and sabun and shampoo segale
with the art of pressing butang kat henfon
yang dok diletak di atas toilet, supaye ade cahaye sket

and over dinner i hear a blackout joke;
"...seronok jugak mandi dalam gelap ni,
you never know what you're gonna rub!..."

i think that is absolutely hilarious 8-D

Monday, August 2, 2010

pour point

pour me. into your life


the thing about pouring your heart out is,
you open yourself to the possibility of exposure,
you lay yourself and your whole personality on the line,
and you allow yourself to perhaps be the subject
of teasing and ridicule and embarrassment

but you know what?

i wouldn't want it any other way.

wisdom of the day

i have learnt, that if you wish to make a point,
sometimes you need to ask people questions instead,
and their answers will contradict their conviction,
while at the same time validating yours.

great expectations

the great michael schumacher once said
that he wishes not to have his kids take up motorsport,
since he 'knows the weight of expectation carried in a name'

i can relate to the weight of expectation.

in uni i made sure that i took up a different course,
cos within days i was known as L's brother

...imagine people thinking that you are sunny like your sister

in my job training i made sure i was in a different area,
since within a week i was known as mr D's son

...imagine people waiting to see great things coming from you

and then there are my own personal expectations.
the way i expect this blog to be as expressive,
the way i expect this blog to be as ridiculous,
and the way i expect this blog to be as fun

...imagine if the previous blog was any good ;-)