musical question of the day

was just wondering, would rihanna freak out when she
realizes that she's not the only girl in the world?

S.I.C.

SUCK IT CHUMPS!
GO SUCK ON LEMONS!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA

did i lose the biggest part of my plan?

it's been a looong long time since
there was a vocal act that blew me away.

this boy can sing. absolutely brilliant!

'ini sebab kite perlu pandai base omputeh' of the day

now, to the person who's identity i will not reveal,
when i say to you;

"...man, you smell funky!..."

here's a tip; that is NOT a compliment,
so perhaps you shouldn't say "...thanks!..." 8-D

tv quote of the day

off an episode of 'better off ted',
it's the one where for some reason,
the motion detectors at their office
could detect everybody else,
all except for black people 8-D

"...how would i know right from wrong?
i'm no greek philosopher!..."

- veronica. being practical. as usual. haha!

'ooowwwhhh boy' moment of the day

have you ever been on a date
where you think the person is cool and funny
and smart, UNTIL that person goes;

"...yeah, it's even there on the bible!
God says we have to be kind to all animals!..."

ooowwwhhh boy.

===================================

have you ever read a stranger's blog
that was so interesting and enlightening
and full of useful information about life
and serious things like globalization,
UNTIL you post a comment
and the word verification is;

"...pussy ballz..."

ooowwwhhh boy.

===================================

have you ever been sooo proud to be a malaysian
because the national footie team won 2-0
in some car-suzuki-yokohama cup match,
UNTIL you switch to the other channel
and the person in the talk show goes;

"...yaaa, anda juga boleh memenangi
hadiah saguhati berupa due bijik*
pemacu kilat USB 16 giga bernilai 100 hingget..."

ooowwwhhh boy.

* p/s ok fine, i forgot what the right word was 8-D

please stand up, please stand up. and shut the hell up.

now, since proton and it's chairman likes to be
some whingy little bitch about being the real lotus,
i have thought of something else that will lift their egos,
put them in the spotlight like all whingy bitches want,
and this would be the ultimate thing
that they can claim themselves to be;

the real slim shady.

re-light my fire!

wow. other than africa and china and eastern europe,
the world is wonderfully socially connected!

off bbc.com, a facebook intern realized that this map
could be generated based on the data held by
the social networking firm on its 500 million users!

it's the result of his attempts to visualize
where people live relative to their facebook friends.
each line connects cities with pairs of friends.
the brighter the line, the more friends between those cities

just look at how bright malaysia is. hahaha!

it has to be so lonely to be the only one who's holy

another lyrical posto. this time off
the lyrically awesome 'playing god' by paramore!

avochileaks 06

based on a historical event,
but this time it's a few years
before the great revolution in china.
it's a conversation over dinner;

teen boy : you must give me beans!
i like beans! beans make me happy!
we must all grow beans!
beans will be the backbone of our country!
make sure everyone grows beans!

family : relax, chairman mao.
someday you might just grow up
and annoy the hell outta everybody.

avochileaks 05

based on a singing class, conducted by a bored
and demotivated musical teacher;

choir : i'm gonna let it shiiiiiine!
let it shiiiiiine, let it shiiiiiine, let it shiiiiiine!

teacher : yeah, yeah, let the damn thing shine.
what the fuck is THAT all about anyway?

avochileaks 04

based on a popular tv show's
food judges' deliberation. the idea is to critique
and agree on which chef stays on the show
and which chef is eliminated this week;

judge A : this dish has an interesting texture to it.
the flavours all blend together in harmony!

judge B : yes, but this dish has a particular tinge of
exotic spices and the technique of grilling the beef
is absolutely perfect! it is magnifique!

judge C : what? texture? harmony? magnifique?
are you guys sure what you're talking about?
i went camping with you guys last friday
and you guys can't cook shit!

avochileaks 03

based on a top-secret meeting
of a top-secret western country
at a top-secret location;

general A : now THAT, is the new satellite
prototype we have just launched.
it will increase the sensitivity of our
telecommunications, enabling us to
properly scan our country for the safety
and well-being of our western civilization!

general B : i'm bored. let's go whack moslems.

avochileaks 02

based on a presentation to the management
of a top consumer bank;

guy : so that, is our highly thought of presentation
about how to increase the excitement levels of
consumers and staff towards our new scheme!

CEO : who are you again?

guy : i'm a staff from the Strategic Management Division
of Human Resources here at *tuuut* bank.

CEO : hmmm...HR. do you consider that to be a REAL job?

avochileaks 01

since we have touched on the tricky subject
of the singaporean wikileaks, i have decided
to launch my very own version!

it will (probably) be a set of fictional secret
conversations between all sorts of people!
it'll show us the true nature of man,
and how we view the lives around us.

boys and girls, i proudly present to you;
avochileaks!

now, based on a board-room conversation
in a massive oil & gas company;

guy : but sir, we need to take into account
the potential damage we might do to the marine
area, if we drill oil there, it may impact the fish
and coral reefs and vegetation!

CEO : hmmm...the environment?
dude, we're in oil & gas. who gives a shit?

i've had enough. until you come around.

look, you can accuse us for not being good friends,
you can accuse us for not being there for you,
for not being able to comprehend and totally digest,
for not fully understanding what you're going thru,
for telling you things you do not want to hear,
for saying things you do not agree with,
for not being comfortable with the things you're angry about,
and for not showing empathy to your problems in life

but if you think about it,
carefully, carefully think about it;

we're not the ones who's pushing people away.

current event of the day

chill dude, we're all friends. regardless.

in light of the infamous singapore wikileaks issue,
(where singaporeans called other asians morons,
finding our leaders to be complete idiots,
and pretty much agreeing that anwar is a
boy-shagging-boy-humping son of a bitch),
a spokesman from the singapore ministry
has spoken of unity amongst asians
and has dismissed that ties could be effected due to this.

i quote;

"...these relationships are built
on a strong foundation of shared interests
and mutually beneficial cooperation in many areas..."

well of COURSE they'd say that, since THEY are
the ones who were caught with their pants down.
fucking singaporeans.

here's my own wikileak. i play a game called
'supreme ruler 2020', in which i grow our military
resources and pretty much blow singapore up
with bombs and annihilate singapore to bits.
it's a whooole.lotta.fun.i.tell.you.

oh don't worry, obviously i don't mean it.
since you know, we have a relationship
built on a strong foundation of shared interests
and mutually beneficial cooperations in many areas.

in other words, relax dude, it's all good 8-)

great marketing of the day

went to the kfc drive-thru earlier today,
and just like the mcD's drive-thru sticker,
you now can get a kfc drive-thru sticker
which proudly displays you as;

"...kfc drive-thru CEO.
chicken enjoyment officer..."

wow. if THAT isn't great marketing,
i dunno what is. hahahaha!

on paper we're a disaster, two opposites so alike that.

a lyrical posto, off orianthi's 'shut up and kiss me'.
credit to e, for making this one. it made me smile.

eat a fancy meal? go somewhere exotic maybe?

off yahoo news! a man's last wish
was to go gamble at a casino.

he won 400 bucks.
then fell dead.

out of all the things he could've chosen,
he picked winning 400 bucks by gambling.
then dropped dead.

what an idiot.

fact (of life) of the day

now, if you are one of those people
who passionately follows local politics
and is super concerned about the transparency
and legitimacy of the political parties here,
then i have one thing to say to you;

there is no such thing as an incorrupt government

deal with it. fucking morons.

oh, the agony of defeat

if you're as asian as this guy, stick to kalaoke

now, if there is one thing that we can learn
from the finale of the amazing race asia 4 is;

if you are asian, then stay away from surfing.
you're not some fucking australian.

move over barney.

awesome. i spose.

this one caught my ear. and made my day 8-)

i am the lotus. shut the fuck up.

off thestar.com.my , tun mahathir advises
proton to produce components for electric cars.

here's something else that tun can advise them;

to shut the fuck up and make better cars.

i am the real one. shut up you whore.

let's face it,
proton babbling about being the 'real' lotus
is a pathetic attempt to pat themselves
and claim to be a team with heritage.

to proton; why dont you just shut the fuck up
and concentrate on making your cars better instead?

and to dato nadzmi.
you're giving 'nazmi' a bad name.
i'll call you whore instead.

bring on the new f1 season.
i can't wait to see the lotus renault cars crash.
and burn. preferably.

morally amusing

life. better off.

this is off an episode of 'better off ted'.
ted is a good guy that has to live with
working in a company who doesn't care about
morals. only profit. i think it's fascinating!

based on the episode when the company is being sued
when they sold harmful products to the public.
the prosecutor is P, ted's boss is the defendant, D

P : were you involved in the development of this product?

D : yes.

P : and how would you summarize the company's reaction
when they found out that the women that used this product
were savagely attacked by insects?

D : ouch.

P : will you elaborate on that please?

D : no.

P : can you describe your job?

D : yes.

P : how would you describe your job?

D : cleverly.

better off ted. a pretty decent comedy series, if you ask me

I.T. question of the day

is it just me, or does anyone else also wonders
whether nigerians have anything better to do
than to send emails to people saying that they
are somehow connected to us and
we are entitled to a zillion dollars?

i am a twit. twittee.

now, thanks to sarahLG and encouragement from -at-,
i have signed up for the twitter!

it is this magical place where you jot down your thoughts,
and you erm, follow people, and when you do,
you get access to their thoughts, and erm,
you also get followed, mostly by complete strangers,
so you don't quite get what the point is,
so then you start to request following complete strangers too,
just to see whether they say ok,
which means YOU'RE the one that doesn't quite get the point,
then you write down crap just so you have stuff to share
otherwise you may be dissapointing the strangers who have
whole-heartedly requested to follow your thoughts
even when you don't really have any,
and to top things off, you have a section where the twitter
identifies "people similiar to you", something akin to
"people who bought this also viewed..." on amazon.com,
but afterwards you're a bit demotivated because the people
who are similiar to you are NOT brad pitt or anyone handsome,
and worst of all have absolutely NOTHING in common with you,
which makes it even more disheartening since you knew
when you signed up you had to key-in all your profiles,
so that means the twitter has a bug when it comes to matching
your personality with other people on the twitter,
OR maybe the twitter just doesn't give a crap anyway

phew. sorry about the rather long and winded
and extremely random babbling just now

learnt that from the twitter.

humour has no age limit

sometimes you come across comedy
which is original and super hilarious!

i proudly present, 'OPN: Old People News'

oh, they review technology btw 8-D

Old People News: The Tech Report
Tags: Atom.com,Atom Originals,Atom Blog,Upload Videos

compass. in every single way.

this one's for me;

seksyen eksyen

di dalam kehidupan seharian kite,
terdapat bermacam-macam jenis eksyen

di dalam dunia pekejaan, kite terdapat istilah
eksyen item, iaitu bermaksud pekare-pekare
yang perlu disiapkan sebab mendealah tu
telah disebut dan kite kantoi sewaktu miting.
so kene buat la kan?

di dalam dunia perfileman plak, terdapat istilah
"lights, camera, eksyen!", iaitu bermaksud
setelah director menyebot mendealah tu,
pelakon kene la teruih belakon babak lakonan
dan jangan lagi tehegeh-hegeh nak sms kawan

di dalam dunia perfileman jugak, terdapat istilah
eksyen hero, iaitu bemaksod hero yang belakon
adengan-adengan stunt, dan sangat susah mengalahkan
hero tesebot, walaupun telah dipukul, ditembak,
dilanggo dengan lori ikan, dan sebagainye

namun demikian, terdapat satu lagi jenis eksyen
yang diamalkan oleh sesetengah masyarakat kite,
secare spesifiknye salah soghang kawan saye,
sebab kat umah die kat kuantan ade drive-thru kfc,
jadi die menjadik tersangatlah eksyen sampai
menyebabkan saye nak baleng die ngan karipap

itu sahaje renungan bersame untuk kali ini.
sekiantimekaseh

i still need you. after all

there are times when you listen to something
and it just thank the stars for making you
fortunate enough to have heard something
so wonderful and something so beautiful

this is from a man who was brought up
by blind parents, and spent their lives
communicating with each other through
the gift the music in the absence of sight

ladies and gentlemen, i am proud to present;

'after afterall' from william fitzsimmons



it is brilliant.

the A to Z of avoch

based on titi's fantastic post
and inspired by her rainbowy state of mind,
i proudly present to you;

the A to Z of avoch!

A is for Avoch!
- avoch is my avatar name.
it originated from a fantasy book which belonged to...

B is for Best friend
- ...amir. who i consider to be my best friend.
if someone who has seen the absolute worst of you
and still sincerely wants to be your friend,
then chances are you have found your best friend

C is for Celebrity crush
- maggie q. she is smokin' haaawwwttt.
and katherine heigl. who is smokin' hot oso.
and ivanka trump. who is smokin' hot oso
(jawapan diberentikan skarang sebab nanti tak abeh2)

D is for Debt
- darn you credit card debt!
i am under a mountain of it! but it's ok,
bak kate iklan; the satisfaction? priceless.

E is for Easiest person to talk to
- plenty plenty! all my frens are easy to talk to.
which is why i am frens with them.
because i can be incredibly chatty heheh!

F is for Favorite movies
- too many to list down! but having said that;
fantasy = lord of the rings trilogy
romantic comedy = just like heaven
romantic comedy drama = sleepless in seattle
comedy = dodgeball
comedy action = a knight's tale
action = die hard 4.0
action drama = troy
drama = legends of the fall
comedic drama = forrest gump
action drama comedy = ocean's 11,12 & 13
fictional drama = slumdog millionaire
fictional history = inglorious basterds
animation = ratatouille
cartoon = the emperor's groove
horror = 13 days & 13 weeks later
horror action = constantine
horror drama = interview with the vampire
local = sepi
local comedy = papadom
(ok fine, pandai2 buat kategori sendiri
supaye muat my fave movies dengan banyaknye)

G is for Gaming
- if there was something i could do for 24 hours in a day,
7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year,
for maybe a full year, it would be gaming!
fifa manager 2011, f1 2010, civilization V, the sims 3,
dragonage origins, need for speed shift, fifa 10,
lego harry potter & red dead redemption,
you are the (wonderful) culprits!

H is for Hometown
- miri. a place where i don't go as much as i like,
and certainly where i don't go as much as i should!

I is for Instrument
- piano. i used to take piano lessons as a kid.
note that i used the term 'take lessons'
instead of the term ' i play the piano'.
i didn't. i sucked at it.

J is for Job
- i am an engineer with the gomen.
god knows what on earth i'm doing!

K is for Kids
- i am not a fan. the only kid on this earth
that i absolutely love is my niece mumu.

L is for Longest car ride
- as a kid, we used to do 13,14 hours
traveling from miri to kuching for raye.
back then the roads were gravel
and you had to wait hours and hours
for a ferry to take you across the great river,
only to continue on a non-tar road
all the way until you met civilization.
and all of this during the fasting month.
it is not something i would recommend.

M is for Milk
- i am obsessed with milk and milk products.
my fridge is usually filled to the brim
dengan prodak2 dutch lady. full cream,
chocolate, coffee, you name it man!

N is for Number of siblings
- one. i am the youngest of two.
which means i am pampered to the max. heheh!

O is for One wish
- my one wish is to be happy.
and i will stop at nothing to ensure that happens.

P is for Phobia
- sharks. and water in general.
no thanks to that jaws movie heheh!

Q is for Quote
- "...i'm weary..."
off sleepers. michael talks to shakes.
i dunno why, but i love it!

R is for Reason to smile
- i recently got a new lappie!
the acer 4820TG. it has the spec of an 5k
lappie bundled into a 2.7k lappie.
best. deal. EVER.

S is for Song i last heard
- has to be "we'll be a dream" from we are kings
and demi luvato. it is something that should be
a theme song to a movie or a tv show!

T is for Time i last woke up
- 45 mins later than when i should!
came late to work. again.

U is for Unknown fact about me
- i spend most of excess cash on groceries.
i am a supermarket freak! anything that
remotely resembles a nice supermarket,
it will definitely catch my attention. heheh!

V is for Veggies
- this blog's url is veggiesnolikey.
need i say more? haha!

W is for Worst habit
- i am very, very, very moody.
one minute i can turn very dark,
and the other i can be the jolliest person on earth!
no worries, my jolly always outshines the dark!

X is for X-ray
- worst injury i had resulted in stiches on my head.
the gash wasn't bad, but the swimming pool of blood
that stained my white school uniform made it
the most horrifying thing i've ever experienced.
i still have the scar on my head. which i love having!

Y is for Your favorite food
- fast food. any day, all day.
not exactly healthy, i know,
but i have this ideology that since i usually eat
once a day, i might as well eat something
that makes me happy!

Z is for Zodiac sign
- i am cancerian. which perhaps explain
why i love to write and read and stay indoors,
and is moody and a bit of a neat freak,
and has an idealistic view on relationships.
well ok, maybe not. hahaha!

challenge of the day

my fren issued me a challenge earlier today;

to try senyap for 3 whole minutes.
because apparently i don't stop talking

so i'm chatty, sue me! hmmmph.

ass-phalt

there are plenty of ways to describe someone

you can describe their appearance,
their hobbies, their personality,
plenty, plenty of ways

but imagine getting described
the way i described this particular person;

"...it's like a mosquito bite on your ass.
you don't want it there but it is.
you can scratch it all you want but it keeps itching.
you can ignore it to a certain extent
but your ass itches so much it drives you insane..."

wow. talk about being an ass 8-D

it works. if you wish to call it that.

maturity, for all it's strength, has it's vulnerabilty

we link maturity to being sensible,
being realistic, being calculative,
being practical, being well, mature

we link immaturity to being naive,
being idealistic, being spontaneous,
being impractical, being well, immature

i miss the younger days when in relationships,
you go for the person who makes your heart skip a beat,
you go for the person who you can write letters and notes to,
you go for the person that laughs at your D's in math,
who admires your A's in english as if it was the best thing ever,
you go for the person who you buy snacks at the canteen with,
you go for the person who you watch the stars with,
you go for the person who you like to buy small gifts to,
and you go for the person who you dream about the future with

now we go for practicality, for stability,
for common needs and wants in life,
and if we're one of the lucky ones, for love

it can be a good thing, it can't. who knows?

so, maturity, for all it's worth,
is something we need to value,
but when it comes to relationships,
is something that needs to be valued,
whether it is worth it for us in the end

maturity has it's vulnerability

curse. duplified.

"...i wish to be free of you.
the same way you are obviously free of me..."

- a grief-stricken mercedes.
off 'the count of monte cristo'.

simply. stop it.

you know what?
sometimes in life you shouldn't re-build bridges with people

simply because the bridge will only lead to a dead end,
and simply because the people you re-build bridges with,
are simply not worth it.

trust me

'me is gwumpy' of the day

this, is a sure-tell sign i was grumpy yesterday;

person A : weh, nak tanye ko nih.
do you know who blablabla (bukan name sebeno) is?

mua : sure, he's my colleague. so logically i should know.
but then again, stranger things in life has happened.

bad, bad, avoch 8-D

more than just a fuzzy mongrel

wise little fuzzy bugger

re-watched 'ratatouille' again last nite,
and i must say, it's such a funny and cute story!
some words of wisdom from our fuzzy little friend;

remy the rat : noble? we're thieves, dad,
and what we're stealing is, let's face it, garbage!

remy's dad : it isn't stealing if no one wants it!

remy the rat : if no one wants it,
then why are we stealing it?!!

mari berpacak

i've read that the gomen wants us to
work harder and be more proactive
in order to move us into the future!

now, here's something that needs
to be moved into the future;

nasyid punye music videos

i mean, seriously, dok tepacak
tepi highway la, tepi taman bunge la,
tepi R&R restoren jejantas kat aer keroh la

i'm sure there are ways to make it more creative,
say, get a guy with a chicken suit
to stand next to them while they're singing

at least it'll make it a whole lot more entertaining

dok tepacak sane-sini in order to portray the message.
isn't exactly bringing us to the future kan?

p/s : please excuse my current obsession with chickens.
there's a reason for that. haha!

"have a pleasant day!" huh? really?

now, the problem with working is,
sometimes it teaches you to be bitter

you get bitter emails
and bitter meetings
and bitter conversations
and bitter phone calls
and bitter coffee as well

so, to actually get a non-bitter email
with the addition of a rather upbeat line of;

"... and have a pleasant day!..."

hmmm...makes you stop and wonder
how can it be humanly possible
to have someone who is NOT bitter
be around the same office as you are 8-D

oh well, maybe it's just us. haha!

hot chick

i attract chickens

no, i don't mean chickens
as in chicks.
as in hot gals

i mean, well, live chickens

case in point;
i once drove to work and a chicken hit me.
that's right. the chicken hit me.
instead of me hitting the chicken

the chicken is a part of a chicken gang,
and the chicken gang resides in a house
which is located at the end of the road
in which i need to pass every morning

and the chicken, well, saw my car
and headed straight for it
and rammed my door

i didn't stop just in case i got
unfairly framed for murdering a chicken,
but i did manage to see the chicken
clucking around dengan rupe sangat pening
setelah sebok melanggo my car

and it happened. again. last week

so either it's the same chicken
who is actually suicidal,
or another chicken who is equally suicidal,
or perhaps the gang is a suicidal chicken cult

or, i attract chickens. live chickens.

"how come no improve? me send 10 mails ovedi!"

some people just don't seem to understand how things work

for example, say you have an issue with the site office,
so, what you need to do is;

talk to site office -> figure out problem
-> offer a solution -> send mail to site office
-> get feedback -> revise plan -> get plan approved
-> send mail to operational personnel
-> discuss and explain to operational personnel
-> revise action plan -> job gets executed
-> evaluate results and offer solutions if needed
-> final job execution -> prepare report -> problem solved

now, this, is NOT the way to think of how things work;

send email to site office
-> they receive mail and do everything
-> kite bleh goyang kaki and makan gaji bute
-> problem solved

true story. trust me. 8-D

chao ren buhu something. i think it's about dvd's.

ok, so there's plenty of fans out there
for this maher zain guy

and with good reason too.
he is a great singer with a wonderful voice
singing wonderful songs about faith

...but all i see is a moslem version of justin bieber

sorry folks. 8-D

pleasantries in return for tax returns

bit of an incident yesterday

was approached by this pakcik,
asking for donations for the nearby masjid.
not an uncommon sight at my neighbourhood,
but that isn't the main point

the thing that struck me is the amount
of things he had to carry around.
this rather huge name tag with his ID on it,
files and files filled with certificates
and pictures of the events of the masjid,
he was even fully equipped with rubber stamps
and official receipts for your donation

it saddens me to think that this poor pakcik
has to carry around ALL of those things,
when he is walking around in the hot sun,
trying to be as nice and as humble as he possibly can
when he has to walk tirelessly house after house
with no guarantees of any donations or even pleasantries

he also said, "...would you like a receipt for tax exemption?..."

it kinda makes you wonder whether we have become
the kind of people who needs tax exemption
in order to offer our kindness and understanding

i am not religiously credible enough to preach,
but the next time you get a bit agitated
once people come up to you asking for donations,
please think of how grateful you would feel
if you had to walk far distances in the hot sun
and you are offered kind words and understanding

a lot of things aren't worth the money.
kindness is.

it's actually more common than you think!

now, imagine this

you do your work and submit the correct thing.
then the person who receives it is a buffoon.
so that buffoon thinks there's something hugely wrong with it,
and goes to another buffoon trying to get clarification

but then again THAT buffoon doesn't quite know
how things work regarding this type of job,
so he /she panics and runs around all day,
then goes to ANOTHER buffoon seeking a solution

then the buffoon who is asked IS a buffoon him / herself
so he /she panics and calls a meeting.
and in the end, sekumpulan buffoons sits at a round table
trying to figure a solution when there isn't one

...simply because it was never an issue in the 1st place

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

the world is a funny place.
and the working world is even funnier.

my thoughts. exactly.

current event of the day

is it just me, or does anyone else
NOT care about the commonwealth games?

hahahaha!

'thanks a bunch!' of the day

to the person in question;

it is veggiesnolikey,
rather than noveggieslikey
or nolikey veggies

thankyouverymuch

hmmmph. 8-D

you gotta love them japanese folk

no matter how many times i watch this,
it NEVER fails to make my day 8-D

holy shit

the problem with mind games is,
you can't really saiko the person
who spends a huge part of his days playing mind games

so when someone comes to me
and 'offers' me a great chance to join a workshop
that 'will greatly benefit me' and furthermore
'enhance my understanding of my own field',
then there are only 2 possibilities;

1. i ignore you

or

2. i ignore you AND laugh at your pathetic little attempt
at trying to play mind games with me

like they say, you can't shit a shitter

...specially when the shitter is me

announcement of the day

now, everyone knows about the eat.pray.love flick right?

based on rather recent events,
i have decided to attempt to write my own movie;

eat.drink.fart.

more than just an option

another lyrical posto, this time off
"find your love" from drake

and the street lights kept shining ahead

... from anonymous

'mari jimat duit rakyat' of the day

is it just me, or does anyone else think that
making huge billboards and banners
sewaktu kedatangan politicians is a waste of money?

slobby slobby

off a social network status;

"...nak pinjam maid sesapa boleh tak?
rumah berabuk & berselerak!!!
aaarrrggghhh!!!..."

hmmm...here's a thought;
HOW ABOUT DOING IT YOURSELF?

some people are just slobs.

ssshhhhhh

simple truths of the day

off zu's social network status;

"...if there's one thing i've learned about this job is;
people are more complicated than reservoirs..."

that. is. brilliant. 8-)

choose one.

i love the imagery on this video.
it's crisp, it resonates, it's black and white.
it is. awesome.

lesson of the day

i learnt something today;

"...if you put 3 friends together to go join a meeting,
you would end up having giggles and snickering
instead of working and solving problems..."

true story. 8-D

name it veggies then.

read in the paper today regarding this massive lawsuit
about the lotus f1 team suing proton

apparently it's because the lotus f1 team
is using the 'lotus' name in their marketing.
and this is wrong, because proton owns the name 'lotus'.
erm, and proton has exclusivity to the name 'lotus',
and the lotus team shouldn't use the word 'lotus'
despite the team principal saying that they bought rights
to use that 'lotus' name, but proton disagrees,
and they say that the lotus team should use a different name,
despite the team already being named 'lotus f1'

...or something like that. haha!

ok, i have a solution to that.
let's call proton as 'cauliflower cars',
and let's call the f1 team 'team cabbage' instead then!

see? done. everybody happy.

i should be in politics.

gripe of the day

it's always a pleasure meeting good old buddies!

specially the ones who didn't send you raye sms
because "...erm, i somehow lost your number..."

hmmmph.

mozilla mozart

there are plenty of things to me
which actually constitutes
into a personal achievement

...finally finding someone else
who understands jargon like sharp, flat,
allegro, allegretto, major, minor and forte
is DEFINITELY one of those things 8-)

it goes thru my vain?

now, some people are vain in the sense
that they like to look in the mirror every second

some people are vain in the sense that they
seem to think so highly of themselves every second

and for some people, they only buy books at kinokuniya

i dunno either man, true story. hahaha!

wanna be on top?

now, having watched a few episodes
of the highly-rated next top model show,
i have come to the following conclusions;

1. models aren't necessarily pretty.
most of contestants look really wierd.

2. models are just stick versions
of everyday, normal crappy people.

3. that jay guy is probably the best-looking
non-guy guy out there in tv today.

4. and to miss j, dude, you're a DUDE.
get over it. and stop prancing around.

5. tyra should really stop trying to be oprah.
despite being a much hotter version of oprah.

regardless of how lowly the work is,

this is the first one-liner posto, off the wonderfully written
"how starbucks saved my life" by michael gates gill

it's a wonderful book. read it.

9 months and counting...

the ring of power. the object of the greatest movie. EVER.

9 months is a looong time

people could pretty much have kids by 9 months.
that's right, from conception to a fully-grown baby.
from a speck of near-nothingness to a living being.

...and that's how long we've gone without a movie,
be it a romantic comedy, action, drama, animation,
that has truly blown me away this year

9 months, people!

and there's only 3 months to go
for something, something out there to salvage the year!
and i have a feeling it won't be a blockbuster flick

and in some ways, i find that to be depressing

movie question of the day

milla and ali. drenched in showering water. in 3D plak tuh!
and it STILL couldn't help the movie 8-D

is it just me, but what exactly was the point
of having that 'resident evil; afterlife' movie?

justification of the day

now, based on a conversation with pak hendra last week;

"...i used to play games a lot like you.
i used to play strategy games,
like war games and industry-building games.

but i stopped playing the day i got married...."

you know what? if THAT isn't justified enuff
to not get friggin' hitched, i don't know WHAT is 8-D

'sad but true' fact of the day

i didn't wear a belt to work today

simply because i wore black and i needed a black belt.
simply because i couldn't find it anywhere at home pagi tadi
and simply because it's the only black belt i have

see? we have one piece of clothing and gals have 17,000

sad but true.

betol ahhh siottt

okay, here's something we should all experience
at least once in our lifetime;

a rempit date

that's right ladies and gentlemen,
a date which consists of wooing a rempit-ish gal
and having rempit-ish conversations

now, the wooing part is quite easy.
you start off by going for 'the look'!

...and it starts by not showering for 3 days
and getting out of bed straightaway

what you would need is some crummy t-shirt
which you take out of the laundry basket
and terus pakai tak payah iron segale

next thing you would need is to invest
in the tried and trusted accessories,
which includes jeans yang sangat ketat
until you feel as if your eyes will pop out,
belts with lotsa 'steel' on it, for that rugged look,
and last but not least the tackiest-looking sneakers

now, the 2nd part is the wooing part,
which, under normal circumstances would be tough,
but not in this case ladies and gentlemen,
as you would only need to practice a basic skill;

...making kiss kiss* sounds to total strangers!

in no time you'll be bagging lotsa phone numbers,
since apparently you don't even need a personality,
just the courage to make annoying kiss kiss sounds

now, the final part would be the date part itself.
steer clear of classy, high-priced restaurants
and go for the more run-down basic food outlets,
since, well, we all know noodles taste the same everywhere

now, to win her heart, do not forget to
go for engaging and mind-blowing topics of conversation.
one of which, is illustrated here;

"...weeyyy arituuu beb, aku nampak kambing
masok longkang ah weyyy, gempak weyyy..."

and sooner rather than later you would be
looked upon with dreamy eyes and the promise of true love

so there you go people, rempit dates.
it's the ultimate experience.

* ps: to sarahK, "...tuuutttseeettt..." is probably NOT
the way to spell the kiss kiss sounds 8-D

my head explodes and my body aches

this is off the very very loud
and very very angst-filled "push it" from garbage

it is awesome.

you'd be amazed...

can you believe this conversation?*
i'm not naming names, so let's call em guy A

guy A : sometimes we even see in the timetrack
there are plenty of 'late in' remarks

me : 08:00:01 hrs is considered late in

guy A : yeah, but sometimes as responsible people,
we should cover back the hours we lost, and not go back at 5

me : so the hours during the weekends don't count?

guy A : that is different. there is no guarantee
people do actual work when they come in weekends

me : there's no guarantee people do actual work
on weekdays and any other day as well

guy A : ya, but at least its official timing.
this one come weekend and maybe just fool around

me : so let me get this straight,
you think people would sacrifice their weekends,
just to go aaaall the way to klcc (bukan nama sebenar)
and spend hours and hours there to 'fool around'?

yup. you'd be amazed at what some people might say

* disclaimer : conversation ni, mungkin akan difahami oleh
sesape yang keje gomen sahaje like me hahaha!

life lesson of the day

now this, boys and girls, is an important lesson

never EVER assume that 2 makciks
who are wearing identical colored-outfits
in a restaurant (however tasty the briyani gam is),
are waitresses in that particular restaurant

and try not to wave at them in order
to get their attention and get in your order

...they might NOT be waitresses

and you might end up wanting to hide behind the chair
or feel like you wanna get out of there. very quickly.

trust me.

announcement of the day

ladies and gentlemen,
drum roll please...

...i am awesome.

that is all.

the girl who...

now, i'm sure by now quite a few of you
have heard of the trilogy of books
and upcoming movies based on the
fantastically named series;

"...the girl with the dragon tattoo...",
"...the girl who played with fire...",
and well, erm, the girl that did something else

so, here's a list of alternative books
than could be adapted to the series;

1. the girl with the monkey tattoo
2. the girl who played with fire (to cook)
3. the girl who burnt the food while cooking
4. the girl who wears contact lens supaye cun time raye
5. the girl that spilled the coffee
6. the girl that ate bugs
7. the girl with the yellow socks
8. the girl with the round nose-hole
9. the girl that adds random people on facebook
10. the girl with the smelly armpits

sekiantimekaseh 8-)

"are you kidding me?" of the day

ok boys and girls,
the next time you get on the lrt,
look out for the rapidkl student pass ad

there's a 'sample' of this particular pass
with a particular person
and a particular ID number
and a particular uni printed on it

...and there's one with a pic
of some random arabian guy
with the name nicely printed;

"...justin timberlake..."

it made me laugh out loud.
in the train. during rush hour.

B.N.M.F.

being the genius that i am,
i have recently purchased an item
that will revolutionalize my life

...a brand new mini fridge!

so my brand new mini fridge
is now proudly stationed kat tingkat atas
right next to my bedroom

not only does it offers me additional
storage for wonderful items such as
the paddle pop rainbow ice-cream
and the tasty orange nutrigena thingy
and lotsa lotsa chocolate milk,
it serves a faaar greater purpose;

it would help counter a simple
but real everyday issue i have;
the fear of going downstairs to get snacks
in the middle of night after:

1. watching cite antu on tv
2. watching iklan cite antu on tv
3. remembering last year's cite antu on tv
4. remembering last year's iklan cite antu on tv
5. the image of seeing your makcik neighbour
dok sidai kain pastuh pakai baju tido
and rambut kusut masai*

sekianterimekaseh 8-D

* disclaimer : it was a REALLY ugly baju tido ok,
sent chills down my trendy spine

buck buck buck

friggin' swans. how motivational.

you know what?

i think there should be a rule
against crappy 'motivational' emails.
and the rule should clearly state;

"...thou shalt not forward crappy motivational emails..."

you know the ones with the cheesy 'motivational' lessons,
and the ones with the cheesy 'motivational' statements,
and the ones with the cheesy 'motivational' pictures!

i mean, i got forwarded one with 'motivational' swans.
that's right people, swans.

so the swans run around in the lake in their flock,
and then the swans flap their wings around in a pattern,
and then they 'fly' and skim the water,
and then they go around and catch fish using their beaks

DUDE, it's a bunch of friggin' swans!

you can't get more demotivational than that 8-D

sniplets of the day

the raye weather this year slightly amuses me;
it is as gloomy as i am

but here's a piece of advice;

if you are not festive and shit gloomy during raye,
please keep it to yourself and not project it to others

...i am not interested in your whinging. period.

=======================================

they say the judicial system is just.

if someone is truthfully tried and convicted
of bludgeoning and murdering and burning people,
wouldn't it be more just if we went ahead to
bludgeon and murder and burn them down as well?

=======================================

in my view, there are certain politicians in this country
that instead of going by intellect or valid development,
they choose to pray on sentiment and emotions instead

for example;

if people are not happy with the price of chickens,
they'll go on tv slating the price of domestic chicken.
if people are not happy with security at banks,
they'll whinge and complain about banking standards.
if people are not happy with buses time balek raye,
they'll conduct public demonstrations loudly lepas jemat

basically they'll memperjuangkan anything
that pisses off the moronic public at that moment,
just to be in the limelight and get media attention,
and be seen as pemimpin perjuangan rakyat

sorry, but to me that just makes you a whore.

=======================================

i do not see the valid argument in saying
that spending a lavish sum on your parents
is a needless and unnecessary pursuit

they gave you a life. end of story.

=======================================

a leader in a local NGO plans to establish
a new political party, an alternative to
those who are not in favor of the opposition
as well as find the right wing to be morons

he goes on to say;

"...sewaktu dengan PAS, saye nampak yang
saye tidak diberi laluan untuk ke depan,
dan sewaktu dengan UMNO pulak,
saye nampak mereka menjauhkan diri
daripade saye. tu yang saye nak buat parti ni..."

and

"...menang ke, kalah ke, saye tak kesah,
saye bukannye ade ambition pun!..."

and

"...saye ade stretiji saye sendighi,
yang akan mengejutkan semua oghang!..."

needless to say that from now on,
i am officially very, very, intrigued 8-D

life. as a list.

even 1 day. counts.

service me

i don't quite see the appeal of being in politics

i recall watching this merdeka tv ad,
with the PM saying, with validity,
"...i am proud knowing that my father
passed away being in service to the nation..."

now, that certainly has merit to me,
particularly in the old days when the nation
had to strive and grow and unite

but now? hmmm...i don't see what the appeal is

let's just see what it boils down to,
this serving the nation of today concept;

1. you have to meet people who you don't necessarily like

2. you then have to go all the way to some crappy village,
otherwise you would be seen as tidak turun padang

3. you have to help them dig up some land gune cangkol
under the hot afternoon sun for some reason.
if you're lucky they might have a tractor,
that you hope won't get stuck otherwise akan kene gelak

4. you have to go to some clinic and hold up babies
just to give the impression that you give a crap

5. you have to go to some hospital and houses
to hear people go ooon and ooon about
their missing toe or missing farm animal

6. you have to give the impression that you give a crap

7. then you have to go to some event
in a hall with no air-conditioning to give a talk,
while at the same time trying not to curse the rakyat
for printing a banner with a not-so-flattering pic of you

8. and during that exact same talk,
you have to hear people whinge and whinge and whinge
about their 'problems'. yes, and this includes facts about toilets

9. once again, you have to give the impression you give a crap

10. and after aaaaaall that crap you go through,
and after kissing ass to be given money
in order to help the rakyat, they don't even vote for you,
and better yet, they go on tv complaining that you
are 'bukan pemimpin bejiwe rakyat'. while at the same time
nampak kat background the guy has a new toe
and new farm animals and clean toilets. boleh?

so yeah, i don't quite see the appeal
in being in service to the nation nowadays